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regardless

from quarantine songs by Kaysy Conundrum

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about

this track is literal and speaks for itself but here i am writing anyway. this is about the ever present anxiety i feel in my own head and that we're all feeling during this weird time stuck at home and also about how i've never been so sure and in love with my quarantine partner/fiancee. love doesn't cure mental health but i have found solace and comfort from being on the receiving end of such love and i don't take that for granted. <3

lyrics

i do the best i can
every day i get out of bed, have toast with jam
still, i hunger through the day
I snack and I snack yet nothing will chase this hunger away
in the evening i call a friend
we talk about when we think this all might end
then i play piano I play my switch
I try and I try yet nothing will cure this aching itch

chorus:
If there's one thing I know
I don't wanna, ever hafta let her go
I could cry daily and clench my fists
she would be happy that I exist
regardless, regardless

i write a list of what to do
i check each thing off as if that could chase off these blues
still i spend hours reading my phone
scrolling and scrolling and feeling as if I'm all alone
we go for a walk I hold her hand
once again i find myself on solid land
waste a whole day watching shit tv
but those hours and hours they did not feel wasted to me

(chorus)

I'm looking in the mirror
trying to see what she sees
but all i see here
is the same old anxious me
I know there's something in me that I can't see cause...

(chorus)

credits

from quarantine songs, released April 11, 2020

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about

Kaysy Conundrum image

Kaysy Conundrum Seattle, Washington

"Too pop for musical theatre, too musical theatre for pop"

My songs are theatrical pop ditties with me & my piano. Some harmonies thrown in for good measure.

Used to do YouTube & now I'm attempting to make better sounding versions of new songs, old, as well as covers. This is for the fun of it will be "name your own price"so please don't feel guilty downloading for free. ... more

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